Report: Laura Acquires Another Nice House
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Recent reports from the sleepy Minnesota town indicate that Laura Ingalls Wilder has fallen ass backwards into another stellar house.
The young woman who grew up living in the little house her father built–a house so small that she shared a loft with no real barrier to the rest of the house and, for that matter, no real barrier walls anywhere and no actual privacy–first fell into a nice house upon her marriage.
“That was definitely an upgrade,” everyone in the town agrees.
“Say what you want about Eliza Jane,” Laura comments, “but you have to admit, her particular brand of crazy really worked out in my favor when it meant that she skipped town and left that house to me and Manly. It had actual walls with doors and everything, and painted walls at that! And curtains! It made me feel like I really married up.”
“A lot of people notice the age gap between me and Manly,” Laura adds, “but what people don’t marvel at enough is the housing gap. I just couldn’t believe that someone with such a nice house would marry me, but boy am I glad he did.”
Old habits die hard, however. Upon losing that nice house to a tornado, Charles Ingalls, architect of Laura’s childhood home and possible originator of the tiny house movement, assisted Almanzo in building a new house that resembled the original Little House™ to a suspicious degree.
“Laura got too far from her roots,” Charles notes. “I had to bring her back down to her foundation a bit. I seized the opportunity to shape her and Almanzo’s lives in that way. It was really the least a man could do for his daughter and son in law. I know Laura had gotten spoiled, however, so I was pretty generous and let Almanzo throw in a couple of walls.”
Much to Charles’ disappointment, however, the Wilders did not live in the newest rendition of little house building for long. Laura’s secret friendship with an elderly woman paid off in a big way when she inherited the old woman’s mansion upon her death.
“It’s like no matter what I do, no matter what setbacks I face in life, I am just fated to acquire these nice houses,” Laura insists. “I won’t even worry when something happens to this one because my past history indicates that the next house I acquire will be even better.”
