Editorial: How To Land A Job

Hey, we know it’s tough out there when you’re looking for a job. Sometimes the job application process seems endless and to no avail, leading you to wonder if it’s all been a waste of time. I decided to write a list of tips to help you land that job because I’m Charles Ingalls and I’m a good person.

Tell your prospective employer directly what you want. I don’t care much for the entire application process. Why should I tell you who I am on an application when I can just show up at your establishment and tell you that I work there now? This direct approach has always been my default and I’ve had some decent success with it.

Offer to work for free. Sometimes, for reasons I don’t quite understand, showing up somewhere and telling them you work there now doesn’t always work the first time around. If that’s the case, just sweeten the deal a little bit. Tell them you’ll work for free and they only have to pay you if they want after they see your work. If you’re me, you know the work will be impeccable and they’re of course going to pay you, or at the very least barter some goods that won’t really help your family with their basic needs much, but hey, at least everyone knows you’re a good person.

Fix the place up a  bit. If a place turns you away or isn’t currently running due to some faulty equipment or other issues, offer to fix them. Once you fix the place, it obviously follows that you have a job there. For example, when we came back from Winoka, we had to get the mill fixed up and running again. Once we did that, of course I had a job there. You can’t not have a job somewhere that you fix up.

Once you have a job, consider it yours for life. It’s always handy to keep your old jobs in your back pocket should you ever need them again, and should that time come, of course it’s rightfully yours. The numerous times I left Walnut Grove to look for work in the city, I bravely went forth knowing that when problems came up in the city, my old job in Walnut Grove would be waiting for me.  When we were sick of being in Winoka, you bet I knew I would work at the mill again. Once I helped make it run, the job was of course mine—there wasn’t even a question about it. After I left for Burr Oak to work in a clothing shop but then returned to Walnut Grove with my drug-addled son, here I was about a day after coming back into town, just working at the mill with Isaiah like I had never even left. Did they need another employee? I don’t know, and I don’t care. The job is mine.

Wait for a tragedy. You’ve seen all the tragedy that happens in Walnut Grove. If the above fails—which, I don’t know why it would since it’s always been fool proof for me—just wait until there’s a tragedy. It could be anything—a death, an illness, whatever—and just swoop right in without missing a beat.

If all else fails, become the employer. Surely there’s a troubled teen or an alcoholic father out there that could benefit from doing all your farm labor for you.

Charles Ingalls, Walnut Grove